I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
