I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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