I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
there is glitter all over my balls
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
