What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
