Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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