so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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