he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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