Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
