K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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