HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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