if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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