There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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