I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
