let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
