Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
