that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
