Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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