I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just made out with a guy for $7.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
