I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
