I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
