You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
