Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
