Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
