he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
this hospital has no fireball
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
