i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
