Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
