Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
