You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
