Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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