yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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