Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
