i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
