I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
