youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
