I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
