shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
