i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
