I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
