People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
