I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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