A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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