Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
