she kept yelling 'call me bella'
please come you make the beer taste better
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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