69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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