I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
