Can Purell be used as lube?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
