I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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