i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I could fuck to npr.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
