Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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