As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Boobs are out for the taking
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
