She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
