The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
